The Quick and the Drunk

Got another anonymous thirsty customer--

i got a question for ya wench...
getting a girl to show you her boobs takes a lot of work. Unless you happen to have a plastic bead necklace. whats up with that? what is so magical about these beads that do what $75 worth of romance MIGHT do?
settle my tab?
um...do you take beads?

Now, now, is it really all that difficult to get a woman to show her boobs? I mean, they're right there on her chest, usually hard to miss. If you're referring to exposing her breasts, sure, I guess that takes a little more than "[grunt grunt] need. boobie."

I like this little trick I do at the bar. It's called talking, and girls usually respond pretty well to that.

But in case you're not as eloquent as I suspect, buying lots of booze usually helps grease the wheels and distracts her from the fact that you can barely put subjects and verbs together. And if you're in that bad of shape, well, there's always rohypnol.

I take cash and credit only. I have no desire to see your boobs and mama's got bills to pay.

Drink up!